My heart hurts on days like today. Maybe you can relate? Today is just one of those days that from the outside looking in, you'd think I'm blessed beyond measure with my three beautiful kids. I am. But what people don't always know is about that fourth one I'm missing so desperately today.
Mother's Day hasn't always been an easy day to celebrate. It's been tainted with loss, sadness, crippling grief and anxiety. My kids do their best to make me feel loved and I've had to learn to set my expectations for the holiday pretty low because at the end of the day, I just can't help but feel empty. Now this is not a blog to sell you a sob story of my poor pitiful life and how much I dislike Mother's Day, it really isn't. What I hope to do for the woman reading this, is to normalize your feelings about this day.
Mother's Day truly is meant to be celebrated. I for one cherish the memories I have with my mom and the other mom's I've been blessed with in my life. But it's also ok to not want to celebrate it either. So today, I want to say something to the following women, as an encouragement surrounding your feelings.
To the woman who isn't a mom. Whether you chose that or life chose it for you, I celebrate the strong and courageous soul that you are. I hope you know that not being a mom doesn't define who are. You will impact those around you more than you could ever know.
To the woman who has suffered miscarriage. I thank you for being so kind in telling other mother's around you "Happy Mother's Day" even though with each word, your heart breaks a little more. You are selfless beyond what you give yourself credit for.
To the woman who carried that baby only to suffer loss at the end. I empathize with you. I know that in that moment it felt like your hopes and dreams were shattered. That every time you see a child the age of what your little one would be, it sets you back and sometimes you don't know how you'll go on. Know that I admire your strength because you are far stronger than you could ever imagine yourself to be.
To the woman who has outlived your child. I'm sorry. Your grief cannot even be put into words. I cherish the memories with you and pray that one day, as you leave this life, you will be reunited with that sweet child again. I know that it will never stop hurting, and it's ok to want to hold onto that hurt, it's what connects you to them. Never let anyone tell you how to celebrate their life or grieve it.
To the rest of the moms out there, weary, tired and exhausted, know that I am cheering you on! You are doing far better than what you believe. Your kids are thriving, healthy and happy. You may never be able to give them everything they want but you will always have exactly what they need. Hang in there, it really does go by so fast.
Happy Mother's Day to every woman.
You are valued, loved and appreciated. And no one could ever be exactly you!
Thank u so much 😇