For the last eleven years, Mother's Day has come with a sense of dread. It comes with even heavier emotions. When you have suffered loss, Mother's Day looks totally different and you can't help it. Whether it's the loss of your own mom, the yearning within you to be a mom, or in my case, the loss of a child, it takes you into totally different territory regarding the holiday. I want to first preface that I do love being a mom. I am thankful for the gifts I have in my children, but it sucks at the same time. And that's ok. It IS possible to experience joy and sorrow at the same time, and sometimes it's messy and hard to manage.
Let me try to explain it better. Remember the first time the doctor laid that baby in your arms? You looked at them and thought to yourself, how could I ever love another human as much as I do this one? But then baby number two comes along and somehow your heart grows in a way you didn't know was possible. It's the same thing when you mourn a loss. A piece of your heart aches, physically hurts, and even feels dead, but there are still parts of that same heart that are capable of loving so hard and so deep. This is what it's like to live broken-hearted.
At the end of the day, I want to recognize those who are hurting because sometimes we feel forgotten during a holiday such as this. One thing I can promise you is that you are loved, you are supported and if you ever need a friend to hold you while you cry, or vent through frustrated feelings, I've got you. Never think that you are alone. We're out here, feeling the same feelings, waiting for someone in our life to come along and understand our pain.
With all my love,
the mom with a broken heart on Mother's Day
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