Change

I have been in my feelings real hard the past few days. Most of that is due to the last nine months of uncomfortable, unwanted, very hard change. This week the emotions that I've stuffed all came to a screeching halt. Now, if you know me at all, you will know that change is my absolute worst enemy. (I've even written another blog post about change 🙈.)

The moment I spot change, feel it in the air or hear it whispering, I will run, and quite possibly the fastest you've ever see me move. Although I haven't enjoyed most of the changes in my life and I am probably being very dramatic about some of the things, I have learned some good, (yet hard) lessons.

1. Change is good.

Although change is unwanted by most, especially me, change is what truly develops character. When God allows the trials and valleys in our lives to happen, how we respond to the change brings to the surface our character. Now, we have a choice to develop negative or positive habits, thoughts and perceptions from this change. But by choosing the positive, we allow God to use us in ways that we never believed possible. Change is good and because God created us in His image and equipped us with his Holy Spirit, we can be stretched in the changing times to reach the potential of who He created us to be.

I encourage you to embrace the change, because it builds character and strength if you allow it.

2. Change can be messy.

Most of us are creatures of habit. We fall into the same mundane routines, day by day, and we truly believe we are happy. The problem with change is that it disrupts our lives. It makes us uncomfortable, angry and maybe even annoyed. What I've learned about it being messy though, is that if we trust God's promise for our lives, "to prosper us and not harm us", we know that on the other side of the mess is great blessing. I may not recognize the blessing now, but I will look back one day soon and see it.

I encourage you, accept the challenge of the change, because it will bring the happiest version of you out for the whole world to see.

3. Change requires complete trust in God.

The change in my life has left me crippled at times. I'd be lying if I said that I've handled it all with grace because I absolutely, 100%, have not. What I have learned is that the closer I stay to God, the closer I draw in and listen for what He has for me, makes the change not feel so breaking. Trusting in God means knowing that no matter how hard it gets, He has you.

I encourage you, trust the change, because trusting the process can be so freeing.

In the early episodes of this season of my life, I saw the ugliest, most broken parts of myself. I did not handle everything with grace. I said things I couldn't take back. I posted things that were unfair and I acted in ways that were not a true depiction of who I am. As time has gone on and I have evolved, I've found myself thankful for this journey. I recognized quickly that I have a relationship with a God who loves me right where I am, helps me dust off myself and reminds me that I have been called and chosen with a purpose and plan, despite any unwanted change happening around me. Change has stretched me, it's hurt me, it's left me open and vulnerable, but, it has also restored my soul, brought me genuine happiness and allowed me to look in the mirror and see Ashley again, for the first time in a very long time. I will NEVER admit to liking change but on this road less traveled, I have learned the importance of allowing God to work through the changing times. Little by little, piece by piece He has changed me, begun to heal me and He's putting me back together. And for that I will always be grateful.

Life hurts sometimes. Seasons change unexpectedly. Hearts feel damaged beyond repair. But God always remains the same.

Pain

Pain. It can be positive or negative. It can stretch us to our breaking point or water us to grow. I've heard my Pastor many times over the years say that there's "pain in the process" and boy is there so much truth to that statement. Pain is inevitable and at some point you will endure painful things.

Pain can come from death, physical injury, broken relationships, church hurt, or lost love.

Pain is usually found hiding behind disappointment, shame, heartbreak or offense.

It typically is not something that we anticipate because most of the time it blindsides us and breaks us down all in one foul-swoop.

Thankfully we have a choice. A choice between two options in how we process this pain. We can never remove the initial sting of pain, but, we can choose how we view it, manage it and handle it. When you negatively approach pain, you surrender to it, letting it define every aspect of your life. This is when the emotional rollercoaster starts and you find yourself riding it until it crashes and burns and begins to mentally and physically affect you.

When you positively approach pain, you make a choice to feel it for a moment, decide what you want to believe about it and then refuse to let the feelings control you. Now I'm aware this is all much easier said than done and I also know it's going to take great will power to choose the high road of positivity. This doesn't mean you won't stumble and fall while on said road, it just means that with every misstep you have on your journey, you'll fight back a little harder pressing on toward freedom from the pain.

Over the years I have felt pain. Some of the deepest pains I've dealt with have made me the person I am today. This is not said to make you think I have it all together and I am certainly not sharing it to say I am perfect in how I've handled it. But what it has done is taught me to show grace to others when they are going through their own painful situations. Because the reality is, there is absolutely NO manual for how pain should or shouldn't be handled. And until you've walked the journey of pain that someone else is going through, you don't get a say in how they should deal with it. Just simply be there for them. No judgment, just grace.

As you read this, I challenge you to remember a painful time in your life. You will instantly be reminded of who helped pick you up each time you stumbled but also who abandoned you and made you feel less than. Don't be that second person. Choose to be the type of person who can love someone so loyally even when you can't make sense of how they're dealing with their pain. Jesus loved us, and even at our worst He continues to love us. He calls us to love others in that same way because pain is an imperfect emotion that simply needs grace to help support its process. So go on, go be the grace giver they need, because one day, you may need it in return.

Back to Basics

The holidays have always come with so much hustle and bustle. I think that's why people felt so off this year. With a full blown pandemic currently circulating the globe and people getting sick and dying left and right, how could it not feel off? Mental health cases are rising, our lives are changing daily as we're being told what we can and cannot do and when you go to the store, you can't even see anyone's face to know how they're really feeling.

What kind of complicated life are we living?

The last few days I've been resting, which is something I'm not really that good at doing, but in that rest I've taken the time to reflect on this complicated life. All of the sudden, this morning, I felt a nudging in my spirit telling me to "get back to the basics."

Get back to the basics?

I mean, what are the basics anyway?

I decided to spend some time thinking more on what the basics are. As God started to challenge my soul, I quickly realized that I am responsible for overcomplicating my life. No pandemic is responsible for that. My cancer is not responsible. My failing marriage is not responsible.

I AM RESPONSIBLE. I have failed to keep things from getting messy, because well, emotions can make things messy. I have failed in moving forward in who God created me to be because I've been dwelling on the past. I have failed to recognize that there is hope unseen.

Hope unseen...what a concept. A concept that comes from the One I claim to place all of my faith and trust in. But have I?

Getting back to the basics, is planting your feet so firmly on the steady foundation that God has given us. Getting back to the basics is having the opportunity made available to us to remain still even when the seas are raging. When times are hard, they seem easier when we are firmly growing on that foundation. When the winds try to knock us down, He will hold us up. Why have I lost sight of getting back to the basics of who God created me to be and the life He created me to live?

Why have you?

Why have any of us lost sight of that?

I'm reminded of a verse from Psalms 104:5. It says, "He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved."

Read that again, it can NEVER be moved.

While we're so worried about the problems of this world, God is reminding us, HE set the earth on its foundations. We need to get back to the basics of building a life that is set on the foundation of Him. He created us with a purpose and a plan to not harm us or forsake us. It's time to rise up, quit complicating things and remember who set the foundation in the first place.

If we can get back to that, back to the basics of our existence, life may become a little easier after all.